Your 22-month-old's behavior: Nighttime disturbances

Nighttime disturbances

If your toddler has started waking up in the middle of the night, it could be because his afternoon nap is too long. This month you may have to start limiting his after-lunch snooze, experimenting to see how much is enough to refresh him, without disrupting his nighttime sleep habits. Also be sure that you've established a short bedtime routine that is calming (such as a bath followed by a song or story and that your child falls asleep on his own. It's typical for toddlers to awaken in the middle of the night. Children who are used to falling asleep on their own go back to sleep more easily than those who are rocked to sleep or who are used to falling asleep in your presence.

Sometime between 18 and 24 months, many children begin climbing out of their crib. This is potentially dangerous, since even a short fall could lead to broken bones or head injuries ? especially if the area around the crib isn't carpeted ? but it also makes a good night's sleep elusive for you. But even if your 22-month-old can get out of his crib, he's not necessarily ready to sleep in a "big" bed.

What you can do:

First, lower the crib mattress. Depending on how big and how determined your toddler is, simply setting the mattress on its lowest level may keep him in his crib, at least for now. Be sure to remove the bumper and any toys or blankets that he could use to boost himself up and over the side-rails.

If adjusting the crib doesn't do the trick, you may want to try a crib tent (an attachment that keeps toddlers from being able to climb out). Or it may be time to move your toddler into a toddler-size bed with siderails or onto a futon or mattress on the floor. You'll have a hard time keeping your toddler in bed at first, but once the novelty of his new sleeping arrangements wears off, it'll be smooth sailing.

Other developments: Winning the whining wars, jealous of the new baby

If your child has starting whining, it's probably because he's figured out that when he gets frustrated, he can get your attention with an increasingly cranky, high-pitched voice. He doesn't mean to be annoying; he just wants to get his way. Past experience has probably taught him that whining works. To change his perception, try the following:

• When your child whines, point it out to him and ask him to use his regular voice. If he can't distinguish the difference, consider tape recording or video taping him whining and talking normally.
• Whining is often a plea for attention. Take a moment to look your child in the eye, address his need, and give him an estimate of when you can attend to his request. Keep the wait reasonable for a toddler ? just a few minutes.
• Avoid whining triggers. If your child begs for cookies in the supermarket, for instance, feed him a snack before you go.

It's normal for toddlers to be jealous of a new baby in the house. Your older child may revert to behaviors you haven't seen in some time such as crying or whining, thumb-sucking, or using a pacifier. These regressive behaviors suggest that your toddler thinks he's being left out and the only way to get your attention is to act like a baby. If your child knows you accept and love him, he will ultimately have the confidence to overcome his jealousy.

This is an age when toddlers feel possessive of their parents (even if there aren't any other children in the house). Give your 22-month-old some one-on-one time with you to make him feel special. If you have a new baby at home, try to involve your toddler in the baby's care whenever it's practical. When you're bathing the baby, let your older child hold the towels or soap the baby's tummy. With your help, let him hold the baby's bottle or be in charge of getting a pacifier whenever the baby cries. You may be surprised by how much he can ? and is willing to ? help.

Your 23-month-old's behavior: High spirits

High spirits

Your 23-month-old is a study in motion. He's running, he's jumping, he's throwing, he's shouting. All the fine- and gross-motor skills he's been working on for the past two years are starting to come together, and it shows. It's next to impossible to keep your toddler sitting still for longer than a few minutes, which can make it hard to dine out, shop, or even run to the post office. But it's a wonderful time, too, as long as you have realistic expectations. Watch your utterly unself-conscious toddler twirl and jump and spin in the middle of the playground, and you'll discover the meaning of pure joy.

What you can do:

Give your toddler plenty of opportunities to run off steam. A local park, a children's museum, or a tumbling class are great places to let your toddler be a toddler. No one will bat an eye when he jumps, twirls, or yells in delight. After a day of exercise and running around, he's sure to sleep like a log, too.

If mealtimes have become a whirlwind of activity, shaking up your child's routine might help. Consider feeding him while he sits in a toddler-sized chair at a small, low table, and serve a variety of finger foods that he can handle by himself with ease. If he just can't sit still for the duration of an adult meal, feed him first and then let him play while you relax and enjoy eating with the rest of your family.

Other developments: Clinginess and more

If your happy-go-lucky, I'll-try-anything child has become a clingy toddler, you may wonder what's going on. At this age clinginess can be the result of his imagination getting the best of him. He may fear that the vacuum cleaner can swallow him whole just like it sucked up a small toy. Or that he'll go down the drain with the bubbles and the bath water. These fears may seem irrational to you, but to a child who's just starting to "step out" on his own, they're very real.

Acknowledge his fears rather than dismissing them. "I know the water goes down the drain, but look, I can't even fit my hand in the drain." And talk to him about what's upsetting him. Remember that your toddler has a big imagination and a limited vocabulary, so it's up to you to figure out exactly what's going on. When you need to be away from him, continue to treat your leave-taking the way you have in the past. Always say goodbye, tell him where you're going and who will be watching him and keeping him safe. If possible, get him involved in an activity with the sitter before you go.

Your 24-month-old's behavior: Back talk

Back talk

The ability to express emotions with words means that at around this age you can expect fewer tantrums. Instead of throwing himself on the floor in a screaming fit, your child may tell you, "Don't like it" or "Go away." But you may be unprepared for the "talking back" that can begin now. The good news is, this too shall pass. Comfort yourself with the knowledge that back talk is an inevitable and important step on the path to independence. If your child is talking tough, it's one more sign that his development is on track.

What you can do:

Whenever possible, keep your composure when your child gets sassy. If he knows he's getting your goat, he'll keep at it. Still, you should explain when he's crossed the line, but do it calmly and offer an alternative. For instance, "Saying 'go away' to Grandma isn't very nice and it's makes her feel sad. I'd prefer it if you said, 'I'd like to play alone now' instead." Don't expect compliance right away, but if you continually explain the rules of what's appopriate, the message will eventually sink in.

Other developments: "No!" not so often

You may have noticed that your toddler is less contrary than he has been during the last few months. Usually around the second birthday, toddlers become less negative, but yours may still vacillate between wanting to control you (and whoever else is around) and wanting to please. His feelings are easily hurt, especially when you criticize him, but that's because what he wants most is your approval.

Try not to turn every encounter into a power struggle ? save those for matters of safety and bedtime. When your 2-year-old insists on wearing his rain slicker even though it's a sunny day, for instance, let him ? the coat won't stay on long. But when he refuses to help you put away his toys before bed, it's time to figure out how you can get him to help without much fuss. Turning it into a game often works. Try to see who can get more toys back into the basket fastest. Before too long your toddler will understand that part of becoming the independent child he wants to be means he sometimes has to agree with you.