Your 15-month-old's behavior: More meltdowns

More meltdowns

First the bad news: Your toddler's temper is easily aroused. Now the good: His displays of anger or frustration are generally short-lived. Of course it may seem like your child picks the absolute worst times to throw fits ? in the middle of the grocery store, at the airport in front of your mother-in-law ? and it's up to you to experiment with ways to handle the flare-ups. One reason that children seem to fall apart in public is simply that they're overstimulated: Unfamiliar people, bright lights, and loud noises all at one time can be too much for your child to handle. When you're out and about trying to run errands, your toddler knows he doesn't have your full attention, which is what he wants more than anything else ? and will do just about anything to get.

What you can do

You can often head off meltdowns during errands by staying emotionally connected to your child as best you can, despite all you have to do ? which will make errands more fun for both of you. Making up a game like "I see corn flakes, I see ... you!" and then giving him a big nuzzle as you put the box in the shopping cart will head off his frantic feeling that you're putting your attention everywhere but on him. But tantrums are inevitable ? every child has to blow off steam sometime. And children struggling through the peaks and valleys of physical and emotional development may need to blow it off every day.

You may have to try several tactics until you find a way of dealing with tantrums that works for you. Try picking up your child and holding him quietly until he settles down ? don't yell at him or try to pin his arms down, which will only make him more frustrated. Pick him up and move him to a spot where he can safely have his fit on the ground or in the car, while you sit warmly by, reassuring him that you love him. If you're at home and it's too hard for you to stay and listen to him cry, simply leave the room.

If your toddler's fit attracts attention from other adults in the vicinity, you're likely to be embarrassed, but your child will pick up on that, too and he may increase the intensity of his tantrum. Your best bet in a public setting is to grit your teeth and smile while you take your child away from the scene.

Other developments: Looking for limits, testing you

One of your most important jobs as a parent is setting limits for your child. At times you may feel like a broken record, but the next time you see your toddler starting to do something you've asked him not to, watch the process. For instance, he'll start to climb onto the dishwasher, which you've asked him not to do several times, but will keep an eye on you the whole time. While you may think he's simply being defiant, he's actually testing you, and waiting for you to step in and say, "Stop, that's far enough."

Try to remember that many of your 15-month-old's seemingly defiant and destructive behaviors are related to his overall development. When he uses a crayon to scribble on the coffee table, he doesn't know that he's ruining a piece of furniture, he's just enjoying his budding fine-motor skills. And when he refuses to go to bed, he's simply aware that being with you is so exciting that he doesn't want to sleep in case he misses something. Establishing routines, like a bath and book before bed, and giving him ample opportunities to test out skills like "drawing," will help make this period less frustrating for you.