Social and Emotional Growth

Social and Emotional Challenges

It's hard to learn to be away from mom and dad and interact in a group. By Ellen Booth Church

Separating from mom and dad, being in a group, getting used to the variety of stimulating choices, having to wait for others before doing things -- all of these can be difficult adjustments for young children. It's natural for children to be concerned about starting new experiences. If your child is reacting strongly, perhaps a recent change in your family is causing some insecurity. Or perhaps your child, by nature, is a cautious person.

Separation
Your child will separate from you more easily if you express consistency, reassurance, and a willingness to let her go -- even if you're feeling a little sad and nervous, too. Listen to her concerns and validate her feelings. The first few days, if possible, stay with her until she seems ready to separate. Then be sure you say goodbye -- sneaking out may avoid an upsetting scene, but it makes your child feel even less secure. Often, it helps to create a ritual such as a hug and two waves at the door before you leave.

Once you leave, don't wave forever at the window, and don't return to be sure she's okay - you'll just have to separate all over again! If you want to, call the school later to see how she's doing. Chances are they'll be able to tell you she's just fine.

Group Living
Like any group activity, preschool requires patience, flexibility, responsibility, and the ability to listen. These skills come more easily to some children than to others. And your child will react to the stress of these challenges in his own unique way.

You can best help your child by staying in close contact with his teacher, helping him get plenty of rest and reassurance, and reinforcing social skills at home. Keep in mind that your child's teacher does not expect him to handle all these challenges on his own yet. Instead, she views them as skills he will develop during the preschool years. Everyone working together is the best way to support your child's growth.